I think I’ve finally pushed through the horrible section of Dreamstate II that I’ve been stuck on since forever. This is a good thing; like, really, really good. There was a whole bunch of content that needed to be tied up/ together, and that chapter was where it all was happening. It was an outrageously delicate process, and ended up being a lot longer (general word count) than I had anticipated. I spread out a few things into other parts of the book, messed around with the order of everything, and put an obscene number of hours into writing not all that much text (given the circumstances). But it’s finally done—I’ve only got a few more chapters to write before I get to switch into editing mode.
Also, my Visa might get through faster than I thought. It seems like the processing offices have picked up their speed a little bit. I haven’t heard anything from anyone yet, but the wait times are moving along more quickly than they were before. This means the new book might be out sooner rather than later.
Back to writing: the joys of reaching the end of a book, I find, are often muted by the overwhelming fear that everything you just spent the past X number of months writing is terrible. I can already feel the sense of impending doom creeping up on me, even though I have a few more chapters to fill out. From the logical perspective, I know that this is a crazy thing to be worried about. I’ve put in a tremendous amount of time making sure that what I’m writing about is actually pretty solid. I like the content and the story, but still, there’s a bit of panic. Anything that is really bothering me can be fixed up in the editing phases (they tend to last for quite a while). I’ll be combing through the text at least five or six times before it’s released.
The thing is, even while knowing that I have a huge amount of time to edit everything, I can still fabricate the thought that what’s wrong might be unfixable. Perhaps I’ve written something so catastrophically bad that nothing short of scrapping the whole book and starting over will fix my error. I’ve shown parts of the new book to Charlotte and she likes it (considering that it’s as raw a text as they come). I know that it’s alright, but still, it could be a complex ruse to lure me into releasing the worst book ever written. This is how crazy the ‘end of a project’ voice in the back of my head is.
But really, I think that it’s actually going to be a pretty good book.