Thursday, 9 January 2014

Why Must I Fix Everything?



Hey all,

Storms are raging outside and disease still ravages half of the occupants of my apartment. But then again, this seems to be how everyone in Vancouver feels right about now. I guess it’s just that time of the year when everyone is sick and the weather is borderline abusive. It’s better than living in one of those places where it’s -400 million degrees right now. We had a terrible blast of Yukon air a few weeks back, I feel your pain.

The title of today’s post deals with my seeming obsession to fix and nitpick and rewrite sections of Dreamstate II that I’ve just written. This isn’t editing, because that would imply that I save some part of what I’ve done. No, this is just me sitting down, re-reading what I’d written over the past few days, and then deciding that I don’t like it at all. The thing is that I don’t want to take the scenes in new directions or anything fancy like that, I just don’t like how I wrote them. I have the story set in stone (save for the actual editing bits that I need to drop back and fix), so no matter how many times I fix something, it will be fairly similar to how it was before. I like the plot and ideas, just not my own execution of them.

I suppose people often go through phases like this. I’ve been pretty lucky so far in the fact that I neurotically tweak things as I go so I don’t end up doing what I’m currently doing. I’m not sure why or how I let things get so far away from me that I have to go back and redo them, but it’s kind of how the second half of this book has been going. Thinking back on it, that’s honestly probably why it’s taking me a billion years to finish the story—I’ve written it in about five different ways so far.

I had this problem when I was writing that book about angels that I never finished. I mentioned it probably about 8 months or so ago, before I stopped to ‘quickly write the second Dreamstate book,’ haha jokes on me. I’d written about half the story and then went back to rewrite the whole damn thing. I’m honestly going to end up rewriting it again, from an entirely new angle once I get back to it (after Dreamstate II is actually done). It’s strange, sometimes I really do love what I’ve written but the more I write the more I find myself second guessing and redoing the work I do. It does often come out better the second time, but not always… sometimes I need to revert it after all that extra stuff, and man it sure is a time consuming maneuver.

-Trevor

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