I know that I said in the last post that I might post a picture of all the printed out Dreamstate II pages, but I don’t have that for you today. I only printed out a bit of it and a small stack of papers is not nearly as impressive as a large stack of papers (all red pen marked up and everything). So, you’ll get to see how terribly long the book actually is once I’ve gotten around to printing it all out. Oh, also, I think that Canada might finally be making me a permanent resident come the 26th of June. Either that, or they’re making me come all the way downtown just to tell me to go away… which, ya know, might happen. It’s a tossup, but I think that it’ll be positive.
My writing over the past few days has most definitely not been positive. I wanted to do some stuff with the horror story, and ended up crashing right into a wall. I know that I’ve said in the past there’s no such thing as writer’s block and you need to force your way through it, but this is as close as I’ve ever come to it being a thing. I’ve probably written and deleted about four times as much content as I would normally write over the past few days. Whenever I have an idea for what I want the story to do, it seems good, until I write it down. Once it’s on paper it just sort of… sucks. Everything about it falls flat and I need to make it go away before anyone else can see the terror that I’ve wrought.
It can be demoralizing writing something over and over, at the very least while you’re stuck in the loop. Even when I do manage to get something to stick, it’s hard to not feel annoyed that I spent three days writing two pages of new content. I should feel happy that I worked through a difficult position instead of giving up or compromising, but that’s not always the way the brain works. I’ll get over it—in a few weeks I tend to doubt that I’ll even remember being bummed about bleh writing. I know that there were parts of Dreamstate II that made me flop about on the floor and whine until Charlotte told me to be quiet, but I don’t know what those parts were specifically. I’ll eventually be back to a place in the book where the writing will come easy and I’ll be content again, until then I’ll just have to muscle through. I can always mix in the editing for a change of pace.