So, while I was thumbing through my stack of Dreamstate II papers I noticed something odd about the page numbering. It seemed to go up and then down and then back up again. I figured that I had something out of order, but after a few minutes of terrible confusion I realized that the last thirty or so pages of the book had printed twice. I'm not sure quite how that happened, but it means that stack of papers I have to go through is substantially smaller than I first thought. Not that the book is any shorter, it's just that I now have an actual 174 page book instead of a 200 page book. Makes me happy to find myself a bit closer to being done than I thought... or felt.
I went out on a search for book related things this afternoon, on the internet. I said that I would talk about something that wasn't related to my writing, but honestly people only seem to report about Amazon fighting with publishers. I know that there are new developments in the epic series of battles, but muhhhhhhhh it's been going on forever. As far as I can tell everyone is acting a bit like a passive aggressive ass, and I would really like to read something about actual book and authors, not corporate monsters having it out.
On that note, you instead will get to read about me being grumpy when dealing with final book/ chapter/ reading copies. Ya' see, I hate having there be something in my writing that other people might dislike. This blog used to take a bajillion years a night to fix up (I've since learned to chill on this front, but not on the books). I'm generally 95% sure that people won't look at what I've written and tell me that it's terrible, but that fear is still there, no matter how small it might be. As such, I tend to go over my work about five (at least) times before I'll show it to anyone (at all). The red pen go through of Dreamstate II is my third edit-through, and I'm still doing it for just me. Mostly right now this all pertains to the single horror chapter that I have all intentions of showing to Charlotte and possibly my Dad. I've gone over it a couple times, and I think once more might do it... maybe. I always seem to find things that need to be changed, or that I can write better—every time without fail. This is a single chapter of a mostly unwritten book that is in no way shape or form near the point of public consumption, but I still get nervous. I'm not sure if everyone feels this way, maybe they do, maybe it's just me, but I've never been able to shake the panic that there will be a sudden revelation that my writing is 'meh' and no one will ever want to read it again.
Makes me nervous, but it also makes me edit neurotically; I suppose that would be the silver lining (well polished final products).